Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Resilience

Lately, I have been wondering if it is at all possible to preserve the happiness and resilience that a child has. We all know how miserable life can be when we grow up and have to deal with unreasonable situations and people you would rather not have anything to do with. It is impossible not to hate certain things and if you're like me chances are the things that you hate will rub off on you and make you a cynical bastard. The glass will start to seem half-empty rather than half-full. After that you will probably just do what it takes to get by rather than be optimistic about the dreams that you want to achieve. A mole hill will seem like a mountain and you are Sisyphus trying to push the rock up repeatedly.

Some people may call it reality and part of growing up or being practical while others might see it as creating imaginary obstacles for yourself. I don't know, psychobabble bores me these days. I am too old to be blaming my parents or others for how I turned out. Maybe I am just built to be predisposed to misery.

My concern now is to make sure my boy doesn't turn out the way I did. I am no serial killer or menace to society but I can be downright unpleasant when things bother me. Rather than solve the problem I sometimes make it worse. I am working on that and am getting a bit better at making the best out of unpleasant situations rather than rant about it unnecessarily. Taking myself out of the equation and thinking about someone else's wellbeing helps a lot.

For now I am just marveling at my boy's fearlessness and sense of wonder. The boy seems happy at even the smallest things sometimes. He is already walking faster than I can and was even showing natural ability when kicking his little ball around the living room the other day. I didn't teach him that, he just did it on his own. The trick is to let him be free to do his thing and help him if he is in a tight corner. Why get in the way of a happy child doing his thing? Just stand there and enjoy it. Let him fall and get up on his own.

Right now he gets up almost as fast as he falls. There is no fear or second guessing involved. The more obstacles you put in his way the more he wants to get past it. It is a trait most kids have from what I have read. However most of them lose it as they grow up. I can only hope my boy stays that way because it will make adulthood a little easier for him. There are a lot of obstacles up ahead. Resilience would be a wonderful trait to have.

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