Friday, December 19, 2008

Not letting history repeat itself

Many men draw on their experiences with their fathers when they become fathers of their own. They start to mimic and echo what their fathers did with them when they were small. Some even start sounding exactly like their fathers.

I don't think I am anything like my father. My old man was and is the detached type who would only talk to me if he needed to. When you grow up with someone like that you will definitely feel distant from them.

I personally need to keep the people I love close to me because otherwise I would be lost. That is why I don't stray far from my wife and son. I need something to live for other than myself. Otherwise it will be an empty and meaningless existence for me.

Nowadays, it takes more than just providing to be a father. You can't say you raise your child if you don't even spend any significant amount of time with him? Paying the bills and school fees is one thing but being there to guide and make sure your child isn't unhappy or lost is important. There are a lot of variables involved.

My brother in-law asked me recently if I can remember my life before I became a father and whether I miss the freedom I had. The answer to that is that I have more of a life now than ever. I never did much with the freedom I had before. In fact, I was downright miserable. At least these days I have something to be happy about and live for. That makes a huge difference.

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