Sunday, November 30, 2008

Stranger Anxiety!

My boy Siddharth is getting more attached to his mother and I as the days go by. At times I can't even leave the room without him making a fuss. He has even started to cry when I leave for work. His mom has to distract him and take him elsewhere when I leave or he will scream bloody murder. It's called separation anxiety from what I have read.

When I come home from work I make it up to him by carrying him to the playground near our house. The boy enjoys our walks. That is the only time he really keeps quiet. He is overwhelmed by all the visual stimulus around him and is particularly fascinated by the other kids playing. Even dogs barking and cars going by make him stare with amusement. Try carrying a 10kg kid for a 45 minute walk around the park everyday. You can cancel your gym membership.

Another fascinating thing is that he has also started having stranger anxiety. Until recently anyone could carry him without him crying but now even his grandma can make him cry and protest if he hasn't seen her for a while. It is interesting because I have read that it is another major milestone for babies. They are more discerning as to who they take to at around 8 months. Siddharth will be 8 months next week, so he is right on schedule.

Today I took him to my auntie's place and he wasn't interested in anyone carrying him apart from me and his mother. It funny to see how dissapointed my relatives were at him tearing up and not taking to them. I tell them it is normal for babies his age to be that way but they probably just think he's being difficult. They really should know better. My cousin has a baby of his own. She is 4 months old and will be going through the same thing when she reaches 8 months. They will find out for themselves.

Some people think babies are play-things that they can manipulate however they want. What they don't realize is that YOU are their play-thing. If they don't want to play with you, they will make it known loud and clear. And if they want you to humour them by playing, they will also make it known, perhaps even louder and clearer. You are at their disposal, not the other way around. The things you learn being a parent are astounding!

Monday, November 10, 2008


Lately I have been trying to write as much as possible and finish the book that I have been working on for more than a year. My new experience as a father comes in handy when developing a few of the characters in my story. I realize no matter how big my ideas are, simplicity is the best way to go. Writing to me is as a form of self-therapy but eventually I do want people to read and enjoy what I am writing. Whether or not it sees the light of day, what matters most is that I am enjoying the process.

As I have mentioned in one of my earlier posts, my working title is "The Middle Road to Nowhere". I have had the story for years but writing it takes time because I am trying to build characters and a plot that has to hold the interest of the reader. Having a story is one thing but writing it in a way that would be entertaining for someone to read is why it takes so long for me. Besides, I don't have that much time to devote to writing these days. Work and family responsibilities come first. I only get to write when my boy goes to sleep at night. A couple of hours a night of writing is all I get. The good thing is that unlike recording music, I don't have to leave home and go to the studio to do it. I really should set up a home studio soon but that will have to wait for now.

My priority now is being here for my boy, especially when I am home from work. Being a father is the biggest responsibility I have ever had. It is also the best thing that has happened to me. I can't leave everything to my wife. That wouldn't be fair to her or me or our boy. He is only going to be reaching his milestones once. I want to be there to share it with him. I am still keeping a diary of what goes on with him everday. Recording what happens now will be invaluable to him in the future. He will learn more about himself and me. I can give it to him as a present when he grows up. My way of seeing it is that my son is me 30 or more years ago. He is my chance of correcting things that didn't go right the first time around. It will be fun going through life with him and making sure he enjoys every moment of it. That would make my life more enjoyable too.